If you must know, I’m feeling brand new. After a hard year(s), I’m really starting to feel like myself again. Actually, I feel like my life is about to start. I love my job, my family is close, my friends are dear and they love me. I love me.
I love the home I’ve made for myself. It’s cozy and girly and clean and thoughtfully decorated. In the den, a cedar candle burns, woodsy and rich. A taxidermy tarantula, two original Henry Hofberg paintings, and a photograph of my grandmother on her wedding day hang on the walls. On the shelves, a collection of curiosities (some miscellaneous animal bones, a few turban shells, some starfish fossils), a neon cactus lamp, and a pair of crystal candlesticks passed down from my mother.
Do you hear all that? Spencer’s soft paws tip-toeing across hardwood floors, and then, crunching kibble. Outside, a murder of crows cawing, the neighborhood dogs howling, the bellow of the fog horn in the harbor. An incessant leaf blower, a forever lawn mower, the tumble of socks and shirts in the dryer. A slightest breeze will instigate a sweet sounding symphony of rustling oak and avocado tree leaves. Open your windows and listen.
A morning with Ellison, New York City, 1950s then an afternoon with William James who begs me to contemplate the deeper existential questions of life, faith, and the interconnectedness of the human spirit.
(Some books that I enjoyed reading this year:
Hard Times, Charles Dickens
Fathers and Sons, Ivan Turgenev
Main Street, Sinclair Lewis
Sentimental Education, Gustave Flaubert)
This year, I learned that smoothies are a great way to get my vitamins and nutrients in. They’re easy to make and they taste good! Some ingredients I like to mix and match: coconut milk, raspberries, bananas, cucumbers, yogurt, vanilla bean paste, passion fruit, spinach, peaches, carrots, strawberries, blackberries, mango.
Please don’t forget that it’s important to rest. Regularly scheduled rest days are declared (non-negotiably, in ink) in loopy letters on my calendar, emphasized with lots of exclamation points and decorated with hearts and stars. And then… I do just that. I rest. I sleep in late. When I wake up, I paint on a face mask, brew too many coffees, take a million tokes, write in my journal. A gentle yoga flow. A steaming bath steeped with jasmine salts and foaming with lavender bubbles. A long walk narrated by a true crime podcast. A snuggle with Spency. An afternoon nap on the couch.
By the way, the afternoon light in the living room this time of year (early winter) is something I like to sit in and contemplate. Thick and buttery and round and glistening. The light, it drops like honey, paints like an egg wash on the walls. I suggest you pair these baked apple (golden delicious) rays of sun with a cup of hot lemon water, maybe some tea with cream and sugar. An afternoon coffee, if you dare.
Oh, and don’t forget to visit the beach at low tide for sweeping views and great glass finds. Watch out for chance sand dollars, dolphin fins, octopus tentacles.
Did you know that it’s sunset season (October- February)? For the most vibrant color in the sky wait nine to 12 minutes after the sun sets. Watch as the sky melts into a watercolor wash of pinks, purples, oranges, blues. Think a pallet of pink spun-sugar, sparkling rubies, strawberry sherbet, peach slices, deep summer cherries, tangerine peels and also wisteria blooms, moon drop grapes.
Later, For a fun mocktail try this guava sparkler:
1 oz simple syrup
1 oz fresh squeezed lemon juice
1 oz guava syrup
1 blood orange
Sparkling water
In a shaker, combine guava syrup, lemon juice, the juice of half a blood orange and simple syrup. Shake. Strain over ice, top with sparkling water and garnish with a blood orange wedge.
After an idyllic day, it’s time to wind down.
Did you know that you can watch all the seasons of the original Unsolved Mysteries with Robert Stack on YouTube?
As 2024 nears a close, I’m proud of the year I had.
I’m really learning how to fall in love with myself and my life. I’m healing from loss and grief by building boundaries, creating safe spaces, opening my heart, prioritizing self care, choosing rest. I know what I want! (I just want friends that support me, a home where I feel warm, a job that fulfills me. To learn. To see the world. To observe. To share. To write. To read. To live slowly and intentionally and spontaneously. To fall in love again {and again}. To never have kids and to grow old and be happy.)
It’s easy to see magic all around you if you just look for it. I see magic in orchid flowers, cloudscapes (creamy, wispy, cotton balls, cumulus). The steam rise off a morning coffee, the shells on the shelf, a hug from my nephews. A sweet, good morning text, the promise of a kiss and cuddle, soon enough. A lunch of apple slices, cucumber slices, sharp white cheddar slices, radish slices, toasted San Luis Obispo Sourdough slices.
My mom visits me a lot and it's magic. An eagle in Scotland, rainbows everywhere, a chance bunny rabbit encounter, a hovering hummingbird in Palm Springs, lemons washed up in the waves. I miss her all the time, every day.
In 2024, I did a lot of things!
I got a new car! I spent my 36th birthday poolside in Palm Springs. I did yoga every single day of 2024. Actually! As of writing this I’m at 728 days of daily practice in a row! I read 27 books and kissed boys and swam in the ocean in the summertime. I drank sparkling water of every flavor, N/A Peroni's, Martinelli's sparkling apple cider. Today I am 537 days alcohol sober.
Some favorite bites of the year included (but were not limited to!) the coconut ice cream at Na Na Thai, a poolside cobb salad at Villa Royale, a Santa Barbara Halibut set with peas and mint at Bar le Cote, and a key lime pie slice at Clark's Oyster Bar.
I went to Mexico in May. I wanted to swim in some warm ocean water, feel brave, normalize taking myself on vacation, go somewhere new, enjoy my own company, eat fruit, look for shells. So I did. Spicy salsa, cold coconut juices, fresh fish catches, ocean swims and pork tacos filled my days in Sayulita.
In July, I walked down from my house to the harbor to watch the firework show and in September I went to a Sturgill Simpson concert at the Santa Barbara Bowl.
And then I went to Scotland!
There, vignettes of crumbling castles, vivid rainbows, cascading falls, ornery sheep, grazing cows, sweeping green and gold, sporadic lakes. A skyline of church spires that rise from a dark fog, twists of blackening stone, impossible curves, imposing heights, haunted corners.
Haunted, indeed! At an unsuspecting Marriott in Edinburgh did my bed shake in the night? Not just once, but twice?
For breakfast, I fancied scones with clotted cream, jam, coffee for sipping. For lunch, crispy fish, sharp vinegar, chunky salt, please!
At the National Galleries of Scotland in Edinburgh don’t miss an exquisite display of George Wilson “Cloud Study” watercolors, a J.D. De Heem still-life titled “Fruit and Lobster,” and a fine collection of impressionist paintings including works by Berthe Morisot, Georges Seurat and Paul Gauguin.
A sip of tea, an after-dark graveyard romp, the peel of a church bell. The shops sell whiskeys and coffee mugs and magnets and Scottish scarves. Shop among shelves of shortbread and piles of plaid. Lively chatter, old songs of Scotland and the yeasty smell of ale spill out of old pubs onto the cobble and brick of the old streets and up into the night.
A drizzly morning, a croissant bun, a flat white, a kind cabbie saw me off. Behind me, a thousand lakes, loch oysters, boys with bagpipes, magic glens, sea salty harbor towns.
And, then, well, cheerio.
On Thanksgiving my whole family feasted together at a long table.
I was festive at Christmastime. In the tradition of my mother, I ordered some Harry and David Royal Riviera pears and had a box sent to each of my brothers. Like my mom used to do, I filled their advent calendars with candies and coins. I went to the Nutcracker ballet with my friend John and we drank hot chocolates by the El Encanto tree. Later, a chance encounter with some Christmas singers at the Rosewood hotel was the bow on top.
Now, I’ll start dreaming up my resolutions and setting intentions for 2025. I’ll go to the Bahamas in February, the East Coast in spring, Palm Springs in the summer, maybe I’ll go to Greece in autumn? I’ll read more books and I’ll join a gym, get a library card and I’ll try to eat less sugar. In 2025, more yoga, more reading, more water, more writing, more fun. I’ll replace my laptop battery, I'll get some of my mom's artwork framed, I’ll finish cleaning out my garage, I’ll take an art history class at Santa Barbara City College!
I’ll keep doing my thing, if you insist! Posting what I think is cool and funny and interesting and important. Sharing my journey. Inviting you to learn and grow with me. Come with me to the Caribbean, bop around with me in Boston, cozy up with me at home. The new year is going to be fun and full.
And now, after a long day, let us sleep.
In the bedroom, the sheets on the bed are French linen, spritzed with a cedar spray before bedtime. Notes of mandarin and basil. And also, a bedside bouquet of fragrant herbs for a sweetly scented slumber… dreams of ocean swims in Eleuthera, oysters on ice in Los Olivos, art museums in Manhattan, poolside mocktails in Palm Springs, slices of jamon in San Sebastián— all laced with rosemary, lavender, sage, basil.
Mommita's goalz are inspiring Daddito! Love this passage.
You make me feel young!