Starting Slow

A string of musings about January in no particular order:

I had a nice New Year’s Day. On the first of January, my family rang in 2025 with a caviar brunch. All the accoutrements were accounted for, blinis with crème fraîche and heaping scoops of sturgeon caviar. Sparkling waters on ice. Fresh squeezed juices. Bottles of expensive champagne. My dad made french toast that we ate with lots of melting butter and real Vermont maple syrup.

Then, after, as is tradition for myself, I drove to Jalama State Beach for a long walk, tide pooling, a search for seashells. Throughout the afternoon, the tide that pulled out exposed shallow pools of full of life. I saw crabs in shells, gumboot chitons, so many starfish. Rocks and rocks and shells and rocks on a wide sand shore. Creamy clouds, mesquite mist, shore birds, big winds, burger buns.  

(Would you mind too much if I spent a few more lines studying the clouds? They enchant me so.) Wisps of white, thunderous masses, curly, puffy, Cirrocumulus. Then, remember the sunsets I told you about? Here they are! A still-life of raspberry cream, strawberry syrup, lilac petals, mandarin marmalade, star ruby grapefruits. Did you know that the days are getting longer? 

Speaking of magic, I made a fresh batch of full moon water. The first batch of the year. When it was all charged up, I perfumed the water with lavender and rose essential oils and I bottled it for linen sprays and face mists. 

Before bed, a nightly nine step skincare routine. A double cleanse. A toner. A pat of eye cream. A retinol treatment. A whipped moisturizing cream. A spot treatment. A spritz of rose mist. A vanilla bean lip mask. Don’t underestimate the power of small luxuries. 

I’d like to buy a tarot deck and learn how to read a spread of cards. 

I’ve been seeing a new angel number lately. 555. Change is coming!

Does anyone know about the interpretation of dreams? I’ve been experiencing a reoccurring dream lately, nearly nightly. 

I liked this passage from Bleak House by Charles Dickens so I wrote it down in my journal: “I often thought of the resolution I had made on my birthday, to try and be industrious, contented, and true-hearted, and to do some good to someone, and win some love if I could; and indeed, indeed, I felt ashamed to have done so little and won so much.”

I subscribed to The New Yorker. 

I bought a sharp new blue blazer. I’ll wear it to brunch with the girls, dinner with dad, an afternoon at a New York art gallery in springtime. 

As I have nearly everything I need (and so my to-do list shrinks) I’m able to fill my days with more leisurely tasks. Longer walks. More frequent bubble baths. Earlier bed times. Slower mornings (I laughed recently when my friend John said to me, “How much slower can they get?”). 

At home, a persistent putter around the house. It looks like this: watering the plants in the living room then folding the blankets in the bedroom, washing the dishes, a bong toke. Reheating the coffee, making more coffee, lathering up with lotion, a bong toke. A yoga flow. More coffee? A bong toke. My makeup brushes need washing. The fan in the den needs dusting. A quick vacuum of the house. A bong toke. A break to kiss kitty. 

And it’s all so lovely, isn’t it? The yoga flows in the morning light. The cups of hot coffee and baths bomb that bubble. Snoozles with Spencer, calls from a handsome Irishman that has a little crush on you. And still, despite the sun in the window and orchids that are blooming, and the fresh folded blankets, it’s cold in my apartment. The winter blues have brushed me with their chill. I want to stay home (!!!), I am feeling tired and sleeping more, I have a decreased appetite for whole foods but an increased appetite for sweets and trouble concentrating. 

So I am making sure to be kind to myself, to take extra good care, to rest when I need to without guilt. I am learning about self-forgiveness, finding balance in rest and work, asking for help when I need it. Something I learned is that if it frustrates you there is information in it. I am being diligent about taking my anti-depressant medication.

At home, I read a lot. This year I’ve already read The Pilgrims Progress, John Bunyan and Ivanhoe, Walter Scott. I’m currently reading, The Red and The Black, Stendhal. 

I like to listen to stories, too. Are there any good crime/mystery/unexplained podcasts I’m missing out on?

At home, I rearranged the furniture in the bedroom. I think I might do it again. In the living room, I filled the shelves of a new-to-me bookshelf that I inherited from my mother with gold leaf books, blooming orchids, clusters of sea shells, a couple of candles. 

At home, a daily yoga flow. I am now practicing my way through a Yoga With Adrien’s playlist called “Manifest- May” from 2018. Yoga for gratitude, yoga for the spine, yoga for focus, yoga for new beginnings. Long walks in the afternoon not only to exercise and get my body moving beyond my yoga practice, but for some fresh air and sunlight that do my body so, so good.

At home, I am trying to fuel my body with healthy foods. Bowls of yogurt with sliced strawberries for breakfast. Kiwis cut in half. Seared tuna steak sandwiches, crunchy salads, handfuls of red grapes, slices of smoked salmon, bananas and apples. I like to put together plates of brescola with handfuls of arugula, shaves of parmesan, a squeeze of lemon and a sprinkle of salt. 

I roasted a chicken, on some Monday night in January. Some things my mom taught me about roasting a good chicken: 

-Slather it in salt and let it sit in the fridge, overnight if you can. It helps pull the moisture out of the skin to ensure a crispy skin. 

-Roast with lots of lemons, shallot, garlic, rosemary. Less butter is more, but more garlic is more. 

For some reason lately my algorithm has really been pushing strawberry cream-top iced matcha lattes, so, I decided to make some strawberry syrup. I bought some at-home matcha mix, but I am thinking that an afternoon vanilla iced coffee topped with strawberry cream might be fun little homemade treat, too. To make the syrup, I boiled down a basket fresh strawberries with the last of my January full moon water and some vanilla bean paste. I cooked the macerated berries over medium-low, stirring frequently, until they started to bubble and then I pulled from them from the heat. Once cooled, I blended the strawberries in a food processor and then strained the syrup. I plan on whipping some of the strawberry syrup with some fresh cream. 

At home, A 21 Savage/Drake Lofi playlist on YouTube on repeat. (Playing as I’m writing this, actually.)

At home, I played around with a crystal growing cactus sculpture kit that I bought myself for Christmas. Overnight, blooms of blue and green crystals effloresced on a 3D cardboard cutout in the shape of a saguaro cactus.

At home, an arrangement of blooming branches and some stargazer lilies in the living room. Pink tulips in the bedroom. White strawberries in a bowl on the kitchen counter. Nightly Gua Sha and a morning ice roll. I tried the viral sock bun curl trend, but I think I need more practice. A surprise handmade shell sculpture arrived in the mail. Paul painted a clam shell with a cancer crab, in pink and purple, and bejeweled it with gems, just for me. There is a good peony and freesia candle at Target now, notes of rose and musk. I also like a rose scented candle at Trader Joe’s for sale now. 

I have been spending quality time with my friends and family. I ventured to my dad’s house to do some coloring. I bought a coloring book and used his colored pencils to fill in the outlines of desert flowers with different hues of green and pink. 

Sometimes, my sister-in-law brings my nephews come over and we all walk to the donut shop. Henry likes vanilla donuts and Harrison likes chocolate with sprinkles. 

Lately, I’ve enjoyed pedicures at One Carat. A brow tint and wax at The Brow Lounge. My dad trimmed my hair in my living room. 

I’m keeping up on my therapy appointments. I went to the dentist and got my teeth cleaned. 

For fun, Jenny and I went to get mozzarella sticks at Chili’s. I highly recommend you order an IBC Root Beer, if you go. It was so cold that it was slushy frozen in the bottle, 

And so, surely, the ices of winter are thawing! Something about how the only way out is through? 

Now, I am getting excited for an upcoming trip to the Bahamas. I’ll fly to Eleuthera in February where I’ll swim in some clear water, nap on white sand, feast on fresh fish. 

I’m due for some botox. A facial. A weekend in Palm Springs. 

I’ll let you know how the afternoon strawberry cream topped coffees go.